Medical Assistant Solange Murphy's Interview (Women Empowering Women)

As per the definition do you consider yourself a feminist? Why or why not?I don't consider myself a feminist because I haven't done anything for women's rights and I wouldn't say I'm an advocate for that movement.

1. When and where were you born?

March 26th 1990. Mount Vernon NY

1. What’s your cultural background?

2. African American and West Indian

3. If you are single do you want to get married? If you are married how is married life going? And if you divorced what happened that you guys decided to end the marriage? I would like to get married. I see it happening sometime in the near future.

4. Do you have any children? No children.

5. Have you ever had an abortion? And if you what was your emotional state afterward? Have you ever had a miscarriage and what was your emotional state? I have had two abortions. My emotional state the first time I would say I was pretty shaken up because the procedure was pretty intense. I was young (17) so it was a lot for me to take in at such a young age. The second time I was older (23) my emotional state was pretty normal. I just knew I wasn't going to put my body through that kind of ordeal again because I know the kind of toll it can take on your body. So, I just knew I had to take the appropriate precautions so that I wouldn't find myself in that predicament again.

6. What is your highest level of education? Some college / Trade school

7. What is your professional field? And do you plan to continue in that profession? My professional field is Healthcare. I do plan on continuing in this field and furthering my education by becoming a Psych Nurse.

8. Have you ever dealt with depression? If so what did you do to come out of it? I haven't gone through depression where I've needed to be medicated and was in a deep depression state. BUT I remember when I first moved to Baltimore in 2015 it was very hard for me. I don't think I was depressed fully but I'm sure I had little spurts of it here and there. I'm the kind of person where if I don't like a situation I will do my best to change it by any means necessary. And I'm not one to dwell on things. It's like okay this situation is effed up let's figure out what I can do to make it better. And that's what I did.

9. Being in African American women have you ever had to deal with injustices in your life. Can you tell me a time when this happened to you? I can't really think of a specific injustice that's happened to me as an African American woman. Just being an African American woman is hard daily. You have to deal with the issues of being a woman and also being black. So, I've probably just gotten used to whatever challenges there are and haven't noticed

10. Who do you feel about black women and the pay gap in this country? I feel like the pay inequality in this country for black women goes back to what I was saying about black women having two things fighting against them (being a woman and being black). Blacks in this country as we know get paid less as well as women for the most part (except Asian women tend to make just as much as white men). BUT black women make less than black men and white women! And the funny thing is Black women are the most educated group in this country. We just need to continue to move forward and hopefully down the line we will get treated fairly

11. What injustices against women would you like to see changed? I want women to be treated fair in general. We are equally competent as our male counterparts and we should be compensated accordingly and treated with respect

12. Are you part of any type of social movement? I am currently not a part of any social movement.

13. How do you think women can changes the double standards put on us by men? Do you believe that there are double standards at all? I think women can change the double standards by just showing we can be more than a person who stays at home and watches the kids all day. Women have been taking the steps to show that we are strong and able to do pretty much anything a man can do maybe even better. We just have to continue to do so and raise our daughters to be strong and teach them to follow their dreams and teach them it's ok to have an identity outside of being a wife and mom.

14. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? Be it physical, emotional or verbalIf so how did you get out of it? I was in a physically abusive relationship for many years off and on. It's very hard to get out of those types of situations because the abuser is very good at manipulation and they're able to tear you down mentally to the point where u believe u don't deserve anything better. A lot of people think why don't u just leave. It's not that easy. It takes a lot of strength and courage to reach the point where you’re ready to completely get out. It's easier said than done. It took me being at my lowest point mentally and being drained emotionally to really look at the bigger picture. Relationships with both friends and family had been damaged. I had to think is this the kind of life I really want to live and I was finally just done. Only you know when you've reached your breaking point. Even though it may seem like you can't get over it you will!

15. Are you currently in a relationship and if so do you consider it to be a healthy one? I am currently in a relationship and I'd say for the most part it's pretty healthy as we know no relationship is perfect. It's the complete opposite of any relationship I've ever been in. There's no trust issues. No going through anybody's phone lol no stressful sleepless nights. A lot of people myself included until recently think it's normal to deal with cheating or disrespect and arguing on the regular but it's not. There is a man out there that you don't have to "mold" or "fix". That will respect you and show you the world without having to go through all the crap that men like to call "ride or die" lol. No such thing as ride or die that's a term men use when they wanna cheat freely and not have any consequences lol. Your Prince Charming is out there ladies!! Don't settle!!

16. In this crazy world, what do you do to stay grounded and centered? To stay grounded and centered I just take things day by day and try and live my life to the fullest. We live in the age of social media where people are too busy comparing their lives to others and worrying about their image. I try to find the positive in EVERY situation and don't dwell on things and don't get upset about things I can't control. Being upset won't change anything. Just deal with the cards your dealt and make the best of it. The world stops for no one. Everybody goes through trials and tribulations that's life now are you going to sit and cry about it or go out and make it work?!!

17. What advice would you give the younger you? and what advice would you give someone that is going through what you have already been through? The advice I would give to the younger me would be to focus on school!! Education is extremely important these days it's so hard to be successful because it's so competitive. That degree really makes a difference. The advice I would give to someone going through what I've been through would be just keep pushing! Things get better even though it seems like the end of the road it's not. There's ALWAYS a rainbow after the storm.

18. Where do you see yourself within the next 10 years? In the next 10 years I see myself being successful in my career. A home owner and married to my best friend. Alongside my career I hope to have another source of income that is strictly me. I want to retire by the time I'm 50 god willing lol so I need to have a little side hustle going.

19. What do you feel is your life purpose? And is what you are currently doing in alignment with what you think your life purpose is? Honestly, I don't know what my purpose is yet. I hope that me just trying to be the best version of me and being a good person will guide me in the direction I need to go.

20. If you could change something you deemed a mistake in your past, would you? I'm a strong believer in everything happens for a reason and if I hadn't gone through what I did I wouldn't be the person I am today. I take everything as a lesson learned. I have no regrets.

21. Do you consider yourself spiritual or religious and why? Recently I have been becoming more in touch with my spiritual side getting into meditation, yoga and reading books about self-control and being at peace mentally. I decided to go down this path because I felt something was just off. My equilibrium wasn't centered. I couldn't sleep my mind was going 24/7 it was a lot. When your spirituality in tuned it’s a lot easier to maintain a positive outlook on life and your less stressed. It all comes down to wanting to live a healthier lifestyle physically and mentally.

22. Do you feel love can conquer fear? I'm a believer love can conquer anything. Fear is a temporary emotion. Once you overcome fear it's gone never to return again. Love is unconditional.

23. If you could change anything about what’s happening in our world what would it be? If I could change anything that’s happening in the world right now it would be mental illness!! There are thousands maybe even millions of people walking around that are mentally unstable and it's the cause of a lot of the issues that are going on in the world today. Senseless violence. Hate crimes. Racism. All come back to a person’s mental state. That's why I want to be a Psych Nurse because the human mind is amazing! It's a beautiful thing but it could also be very dangerous and turn us into monsters. Mental health needs to be taken a lot more seriously.